Finding Faith: Pagans Explore Spirituality
By Rachel Hare, Carroll County Times Online
Jennifer Harvilak had a normal wedding. She and her husband were married outside at a pond they had frequented when they were dating. She wore a white gown. The couple exchanged wedding bands and vows they had written.
But before the ceremony, the Westminster couple had been peppered with bizarre questions.
Would there be any unusual rituals? Would the readings be sacrilegious? Would there be animal sacrifices?
Aside from the minister, Harvilak and her husband, Kurt, were the only two pagans who attended the wedding, and they faced many fears and reservations from their guests.
It is a common problem for Harvilak: When people do not understand her religion, many defer to Hollywood for an explanation.
"We can't move furniture with our minds, we can't change into wolves, we can't change our eye color," Harvilak enumerated with a roll of her eyes. "Hollywood is our biggest enemy."
A broad belief system Ask 10 different pagans for the tenants of their religion, and you're likely to get 10 different answers.
In the broadest sense of the term, a pagan is anyone who worships in a religion other than Christianity, Judaism or Islam. This includes a variety of spiritual paths such as Wicca, Druidism, Neo-paganism and Norse religions. Most pagan faiths are based on beliefs, deities and symbols taken from ancient religions and most emphasize harmony with the Earth and its seasonal cycles.
"There is no right or wrong," said Tina Stiltner, of Taneytown, who practices a variety of pagan traditions, including shamanism and Wicca. "It's a broad belief system."
When Tina Stiltner became pregnant two years ago, all her friends believed the baby would be a girl.
"Everyone said, 'You're having a girl,' and I said, 'We'll see,'" she recalled.
But Stiltner already knew her baby would be a boy. She knew what color his hair would be. She knew what his smile would look like.
She knew because she had already seen his face.
As a part of her religion, Stiltner takes part in the Native American tradition of sweating, which is a way to cleanse oneself of negativity.
During one particular sweat, Stiltner saw a child. It was a vision of a little boy, about 3 years old, she recalled. Not long after, Stiltner became pregnant with her now 1-year-old son.
"He looks just like the little boy that I saw."
Finding the path
Harvilak was raised Catholic, but she never felt a connection to the religion.
"I can't say that I had an excessively bad experience," she said. "It just never clicked."
She remembers having questions as a girl and being drawn to nature more than the church. At 14, Harvilak experienced the death of her mother and, soon after, her grandmother, which drove her toward atheism. "I was very angry with God," she said.
Harvilak had only considered atheism for about a year when she decided she still needed some spirituality in her life. She spent several years as an agnostic, while she explored her beliefs. She began investigating paganism after she met Kurt, who observes a Viking religion, and he introduced her to Earth religions.
Earth religion is almost just as it sounds: it is the veneration of gods and goddesses within nature. There are many paths, and each varies greatly from the rest.
Harvilak considers herself a Unitarian Universalist Pagan, she explained, absently playing with her pentacle necklace.
The pentacle is a pagan symbol that represents air, fire, earth, water and spirit.
"It's a visual representation of the elements that you need so you can survive in life," Harvilak said.
"First and foremost, I'm a pagan," she said. "I'll never be anything other than an Earth religions practitioner."
An individual spiritual place
Stiltner's religious experience is a very individualized one as well. She follows an Earth-based path that combines principles of shamanism and Wicca.
"Religion is an independent choice," she said. "I guess you could call the Earth my church."
Stiltner was not raised in a particular religion and she never considered herself to be part of a belief system growing up. She was baptized as a Catholic in 2000, but baptism is just one part of her religion.
She believes in a single creator, like most Christians. She practices Wiccan spell work. She believes in angels and the power of animals, and when she is plagued by bad dreams, she keeps a medicine bag by her side.
"There are so many different interpretations of faith," she explained. "I'm not here to say that anyone is wrong; in fact, I think everyone is right in some form."
While she does have a group of friends who are Earth religions practitioners, much of Stiltner's worship takes place alone, through meditation, prayer and drumming.
"I do spell work when necessary," she said.
Stiltner casts spells in a circle, which she calls her sacred space, using vocal incantations.
"You really have to have a good reason for doing it," she explained. "It's usually never for yourself, it's always for someone else."
But one of the most important pieces of her religion, Stiltner said, is taking advantage of quiet moments to find peace in a personal spiritual place.
Harvilak has also found Paganism to be a very individualized religion, but Unitarian Universalism allows her to worship with others. Unitarian Universalism is a denomination that brings together people of many different beliefs.
Cedarhurst Unitarian Universalist Church in Finksburg, where Harvilak attends Sunday services, is open to all religions. Parishioners focus on finding commonalities and acknowledging differences.
"There is no trying to change someone's ideas or viewpoints ... everyone is accepted," Harvilak said. "The commonality is what allows the community; the differences are what allow the individuality."
At Cedarhurst, Harvilak celebrates holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving and Halloween, along with a number of Unitarian Universalist holidays.
For example, the holiday that begins every year is the Water Communion. All of the parishioners bring water from their summer travels and pour it into a communal bowl. The congregation discusses their experiences and how water affirms faith and symbolizes the constancy of life.
Occasionally, she has the opportunity to meet and worship with other pagans, as well, but much of Harvilak's pagan worship is individual.
"My personal spirituality is just that - it's very personalized," she said. "My worship takes place without being planned. I see God in a rainbow, I see God in a cloud, I see God in my son, I see God in myself, I see God in my marriage."
Belief in God
"I believe in God."
Stiltner said the words matter-of-factly.
Some Pagans worship many gods, but this is not always the case. Stiltner believes in a single God, or creator, that is neither male nor female.
Animals also play an important role in Stiltner's worship. She believes in the concept of power animals - animal counterparts that serve as guides and mentors. These animals can change over time.
"I carried wolf around for years," Stiltner said, recalling the black wolf she dreamt about for the first time at age 6. "Wolf is a very passionate animal."
Now that she is in her 30s, Stiltner's power animal has changed to a polar bear, which she believes is a symbol of a good mother. She picked up polar bear several years ago, while she was meditating.
"There is no fiercer protector," she explained, referencing her concerns for the safety of her "cub," her young son.
Stiltner's son is baptized Catholic, and she plans to give him the option to continue in that faith. But she refuses to endow him automatically with all of her own beliefs.
"Whatever he believes is truly up to him," she said.
Like Stiltner, Harvilak also sees the divine as a single, universal concept with male and female characteristics.
"To me, it's not so much what God looks like or what name you attribute to that God," she continued. "The divine is universal; it reaches out to each person in a special, personalized way."
Although Harvilak and her husband both have strong non-Christian beliefs, the couple is raising their son with an open mind.
"I find him being very spiritual without ever being coerced into it," she said of her son. "There is no pressure to believe a certain thing, to follow a certain rule ... He's very open to general spirituality."
Absolutely happy
Harvilak said she and her family will continue to grow together and separately in their spirituality. But the most important thing to her, she said, is to continue to evolve.
"The goal is to never stagnate, to always be open to new ideas ... and to always remain true to myself and never let anyone dictate what to believe."
Stiltner agrees that the most important part of her religion is to remain true to her personal spirituality. And, like Harvilak, Stiltner is content on her journey.
"I am positively, absolutely happy where I am."
What it is
http://www.carrollcountytimes.com/articles/2010/01/24/news/local_news/1_pagans_spirituality.txt
